| don't wait for the door to come knocking |
[Apr. 6th, 2008|10:20 pm] |
Wear sunscreen...
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked... You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind...the race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you wont, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you wont, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance... Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents; you’ll never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, price will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85.
Be careful who's advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen...
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| they write books about this sort of thing |
[Jan. 1st, 2008|02:26 am] |
the holidays treated me well. i didnt take notice to christmas or the new year. ive been sick lately. or temporarily crazy. i thought michael gave me mono from his lack of attention to which water bottle he drank last. but its not his fault. and i dont think its mono after all. a lot has happened since i last wrote in this journal. of course, life does go on regardless of documentation. i need a real journal. i hate hand writing though and i guess having a livejournal gives a sense of security...like someone cares. when in reality, though i do read other's thoughts and entries and such, i have to admit i dont really think anyone cares. not even me.
im interning at the express-news with a crime investigator. its intriguing and terrifying all at the same time. i dont want to work for a newspaper. i dont even know what i want to do anymore. the future i so dreamt of no longer seems as brilliant as it once was, i dont think i have given up on my dreams, i think my dreams have given up on me. ha.
many things have changed about me, besides my hair color and hair cut and complete satisfaction with the misinterpretation of these changes. i remain distant with a luke warm emotional indifferance as always; this being further proven by the provocative, unsuspected actions that even surprised me. i consider that an irrelevant thing of the past that has been reconciled with, or ignored however you'd like to put it.
im not sure if the people in my life right now are worthy of remembrance and i think, unknowingly, they feel the same about me. its kind of like when you meet a co-worker, you both know youre friendship has almost no chance of survival outside the work place, but you pursue a close acquaintance status anyway. dont get me wrong, i value my close friends and family, but the others just kind of linger on the sidelines.
im not going to try and conclude this with something triumphant, because thats unrealistic and an irrational attempt,but i will say that my intentions are always genuine, even when my actions and words are not. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2007|11:42 pm] |
You still make me sick.
Physically sick. |
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| Modest Celebrities With Flawless Flaws |
[Sep. 19th, 2007|11:09 pm] |
Make Me
Make me tan and skinny
make me dark haired and light eyed
make me 6ft tall
make me wide eyed and grinning
make me secretly admired and publicly desired
make me pearly white
make me pretty and photogenic
make me smile
make me fragile and delicate
make me never alone and surrounded by people ill never know
make me silky smooth
make me sophisticated and over educated
make me a mystery
make me a stable adventure
make me strong and conceptual
make me seductive
make me faultless and clever
make me politically correct
make me green or blue or purple or red or brown.......make me this or that....make me you or him or her....make me go or stay or lost or found....make me freckled and sentamental or sensative and kind or malign....make me civil or iconoclastic...make me rubber or paper or plastic.....make me sanctified. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2007|11:11 pm] |
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Tonight was nice. I had, for the first time in a long time, a feeling of comfort in change. I found out what's missing; the moments that make life seem deeper than the day-to-day...you know, those moments when life goes in slow motion, noises fade out, breathing seems pointless and nothing matters, moments that pass like years. I haven't had one of those in a while. Perhaps that is where the line between reality and fiction is drawn. I am, I guess, stuck in reality, to the point where I forget what makes being alive so great. |
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| Vindication. |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|10:03 pm] |
I could be writing about how work is slowly ruining me or how my emotions are currently coiled around my neck leaving me without speech or thought. But no, I am here defending myself from redundant assholes who seem to think their "shit dont stank".
A Note to you:
Now I will start with you, the one who finds it necessary to write to me through livejournals: get a life, first of all, then, after that, get laid or inebriated because at least you'll get the attention you're so desperately crying for in your entries. I dont care what you say or think about my life without you because you're no longer on the radar screen- meaning nobody gives a crap, you're just wining and though I'm sure an emo kid might object, it DOES get old. Only you (and the rest of the world) know how you treated me and how much I wanted out. Generally, I have always felt a sort of sympathy for you, and I always will. And just because I choose not to employ "clever" lines to unveil my immaturities and belittle your name, does not mean that I do not deserve avengeance. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2007|11:43 pm] |
So I got a boyfriend. Oddly enough. It started with him buying me a chai tea latte and went in super fast mode from there. He's amazing. I'm not going to lie, he is the best thing I have ever found in a relationship; he's the identical twin of the lead singer from Dashboard Confessional lip pearcing and all. He has a verrrry nice phisique. haha.
However, I cant help but feel like it is all too good to be true. Why would he like me so much when he could have any girl in the world? Why did he want to commit his everything and be sooo sweet to me 24/7 when he hardly even knows me? I know he has many secrets.I dont want to kill the best thing i have ever had with my doubts and own insecurities but I am always curious as to whats hidden under his charm, I believe I wouldnt want to know. I am being very cautious but still i feel it is not enough. I cant afford to get hurt. not now. its too soon. if i get hurt i will never forgive myself for letting it happen.
Other than all that, the 2 jobs are working out well, i work all day everyday and usually dont have time to think or sleep or breathe. but it works.
My parents pretty much hate me for staying home to work while they go to colorado. I dont have the time nor the energy to care though. I'm so drained of enery, I find myself just wanting to be at peace with those I have never been on good terms with.
Maybe thats a good thing.
Maybe this is good. |
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| back to life. |
[Jul. 31st, 2007|06:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
The other night i went to hang out with Katie at her work (Oak Valley Golf) and ended up getting so drunk. We ran over a bench with a golf cart and broke it. All of this happened right after her uncle hired me to work there. haha. It was stupid but fun. I never felt so misconstrued, everything was everywhere. I needed that so much.
I went home and my brother took care of me. I said and did a lot of dumb stuff that night, but nothing so irresponsible that it could not be fixed with some super glue. The next morning my brother hands me a McDonalds cup and says "taste this", after taking a sip i spit it out. he said "thats what you brought home last night". it was soo strong. im surprised im not dead. ha.
But now that that fun is over its back to life. Working 2 jobs. Filling out stuff for college.Summer homework. Being Editor. All that highly enjoyable stuff.
My parents randomlly gave me $300 towards a trip that they indicated they want me to take while they're in Colorado. Which doesnt make a lot of sense to me. I think there are hidden motives behind it all, my parents do crazy shit like that all the time. |
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| too deep of waters |
[Jul. 3rd, 2007|12:04 am] |
The question I never ask but always have on my mind is why? Why do you like me? I dont understand. Its not a confidence thing and I understand the basic chemistry of it all, but I hate the sort of half-assed excuses like "because youre pretty, or cute, or funny, or whatever adjective comes to mind."
I just want someone to give me a genuine answer like "because I saw you, I thought you were cute so I talked to you and I've been wanting a crush or potential girlfriend so I decided to see how things would turn out, see if you could play the role."
I look at how much I mean to somemone and it either freaks me out, makes me wonder, or leaves me feeling bad because I know the admiration is not going to be returned. In every fling, relationship or whatever, I always kind of beat around the bush when attempting to ask the simple question of "why". I often get lost in the idea and ruin everything. It happens all the time.
Everyone likes to be liked. I just think sometimes, as much as we all refuse to admit it, we are wasting our time.It is suprising to me that I am even writing this because I very seldom talk about dating, relationships or anything of the sort. That is not my forte to say the least. My opinions on love are bitter sweet and things of that nature do not appeal to me.
I just would like to know why. thats all really.
I feel sorry for the ones that come my way, unknowinglly stepping into the forbidden seas with their backs to the title wave. |
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| when life gives you aids make lemonaides. |
[Jun. 24th, 2007|12:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | beginning to grip reality | ] |
| [ | music |
| | a little bit of everything id say | ] |
its been a crazy summer already...and it hasnt even ended yet.
ive been in recovery for about 3 months now. its deffinitlly been rough. Ally and i had some good times and i loved it. i love that girl. we got the best f*ing tans of our lives.
i started an internship in the big city. i came home this weekend but i go back on monday. i will most likely write a whole entry explaining all about the internship in full detail because it really is one of those once in a life time learning experiences. now whenever im home my mom always tells me i look so much older. whatev. i just wear a lot of black. thats all. haha.
Its so pathetic ive written so many livejournal entries and never posted them because i was like "nevermind." right as i was about to post them.
im so weird. |
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| 37 missed calls and no one to answer. |
[May. 14th, 2007|10:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  silent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sshhh | ] |
it has been mentioned lately...
by quite a few people,
that i dont talk very much at all.
i guess i am a bit of a mute.
not because im shy really,
just because
silence is better.
thats what i think.
ive always been better at listening anyway.
maybe im just out of words. |
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| tinman. |
[Apr. 21st, 2007|12:09 am] |
im so afraid im going to live my life like this forever,
just walking around, not feeling a thing.
i used to say "i dont care", like it was my very own catch phrase.
now, i really dont care, at all, about anything, or anyone.
it scares me.
no matter what i say, i know there is no thought nor feeling behind it.
i just talk.
i dont even know why, i mean, whats the use of a word with no meaning behind it?
maybe im a distant relative to the tinman. |
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| my birthday. |
[Apr. 1st, 2007|05:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | courtney's super cool birthday mix | ] |
1st- Ally came to visit from Indiana. Her and Nathan stayed up for 24 hours strieght and suprisingly woke me up on my birthday. Ally and I went out for my special birthday breakfast at a french cafe. I had a cressant, cinnaman crepes with strawberries and cream, then Ally bought me a fruit tart that was AMAZING!
2nd- Ally and I swam in my pool and tanned/burned on the deck while listening to my newly made mix cd. After about 4 hours of that I took ally to Christina so that she could be on her way back to lamesville.
3rd- With the help of some friends, I set up for my party and managed to get my new (very, very, short, emo..) hair-do in some nice (very tiny) curls. I put on my favorite, vintage, pretty 20's dress!
4th- People started arriving for my party all in cool 20's attire! Everyone looked smoke'n! The food was a big hit and the bartender served up some wicked drinks. We had a bit of a dance-off and I got to flaunt my mad swing dancing skills. Presents were unexpected but "bery niiice".
5th- Seemed like everyone had a good time, my big bro even got some action. By 2am people began mosying on out and by 3am things were down to a hush.
My 18th birthday was pretty swell! I enjoyed myself, and the company of others! Things were over-all chill like i like it. My party was deffinitlly "the cat's meow".
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| digging a ditch. |
[Mar. 14th, 2007|01:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  supa chilled | ] |
| [ | music |
| | duh... | ] |
I'm digging a ditch
Where madness lives
I'm digging a ditch
Where my silence lives
I'm diggin a ditch and when I am through
Digging this ditch I'll dig one for you
Digging a ditch
As black as cold
Digging a ditch
Where I can hide my soul
Digging a ditch
Where my secrets stay
Run to your dreaming
When you're alone
Unplug the TV
Turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch
Where all these troubles
That weigh down on me will rise
Where all these disappointments
That grow angry out of me will rise
Where all these habits
That weigh down on me will die
Not what you're sure to be or what you've become
Just getting heavy on with digging your ditch.
Spring Break has not turned out very spring break-like.In fact, it kind of sucks. I dyed my hair, drove around in the pooring rain, bought stuff for my roaring 20's party at this cool vintage shop, neglected most of my friend's request to hang out, have not gotten anything even resembling a tan, watched some of the suckiest movies ever,cleaned out my closet (in a literal sense), went thrift store shopping, walked around la cantera with no make-up, went to a midnight movie with stephen and my brother, got excepted to Urban Journalism Workshop, took another friend to planned parenthood, got a nasty cold, AND have had the strangest dreams. O well. I guess I'll take this time to continue digging my ditch. |
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| irremediable. |
[Mar. 5th, 2007|08:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | mellow mix cd | ] |
In an attempt to distract myself, I have thrown myself into plans, school and an unwanted social life. I have been to 3 parties this weekend and am busy trying to make myself busy.
Letting go is not easy. That is no lie.
Reminisce: There are times when something triggers a memory of "the good 'ol times" and it truly hurts- i just think to myself, "why can't it work out?", all of the left over potential just kills me. I'm not even going to mention the fact that I was doing this same thing, this time, last year.Whenever i hear about something with any relevence i want to discuss it with him. But after grabbing my phone i hesitate and stop myself.
Questions: And then there are SO many questions left unanswered that I have to ignore and try to reconcile with. I question myself, like a battle against myself; what if i looked like this? what if i did that? how could i have done better? will i ever be good enough? Sometimes I want to ask him something random just to see if he'd answer. (which ive done before.) However, this time is different, this time i just need to let it go.
Good Intentions: When i notice little signs of happiness from his end, i get really happy, because thats why im doing this. I have held him back long enough, keeping him on this spinning, merry-go-round of emotions. After a while, feeling replaced is actually comforting. Selflessness can be rewarding.
Cognition: The thought of it all is constantly lingering in the back of my mind, like sitting on a cactus. My only retreat, ive discovered is math. Whenever i get cought up in reasoning, logic, and meticulous equasions, things seem to make more sense.
Pathos: the drawn out emotional baggage of it is the worst, im torn between what i want and what is best. i begin to dwindle; i feel smaller and smaller every day- the distance and time facilitates the thought that its really over. i hear a sad song and i want to drive a thousand miles, show up at his front door with the biggest "im sorry" look ever, honestly i know i would do anything but i keep it retained. I could pour my emotions right on to him and it wouldnt matter now.
Culpable Torture: here is the "this is what you get" part. the shame. the guilt. as Venzetti would say "our agony is our triumph". the more it hurts, the more i am reasured that im doing the right thing. to bestow the blame upon me would not be a false action. i am to blame. i dont feel sorry for myself, i cant. either way its gone, right? i know that we no longer see eye to eye and that he will never feel the same about me.
Acceptance: This is the part im waiting for. I know it is drawing near because the dreams are less often. Being alone doesnt scare me as much. I have to realize that even if i tried to salvage what i could, it wouldnt change a thing. Deciphering decomposure.
The worst part of it all is having to do it on my own. finite. finished.One less friend. One less shoulder. One less smile. And if he reads this, as much as i want it to, it wont determine the prospects of a happily ever after, because the story has already reached it's end. |
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| Peter Pan |
[Feb. 27th, 2007|05:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | WTF?! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Imogen Heap- Hide and Seek | ] |
I have to admit that I have been SO wierd lately. I mean, I'm usually a little off center but I have become this really strange imitation of myself. I have been thinkg WAY too much about these brilliant ideas that on a normal basis I would never come up with and I have random spurts of BITCH, not like average rude or sometimes harsh bluntness, I'm talking like all out nasty, "Mean Girls" style.
For example: today as I was walking out of 4th period I noticed that this video game obsessed, abstract, kid in my class had dropped his stuffed animal that he normally carries. So I picked it up and took it to a class I knew he had 6th period, in doing so I made myself late to my 5th period class but i figured the good deed was worth it. After 5th I saw the kid in the hall and let him know that his furry friend was safe, he gave me this ugly look and blew me off with an "Oh. Ok." then walked away. I was mad that I didnt get a "thank you" or at least eye contact after what I had done. So, being the BITCH I am,I announced loudly to a friend "Yeah, well he should start taking showers, maybe then he'd have a chance at getting within at least 50ft of a vagina." I felt really bad afterward and couldnt believe that came out of my mouth.
I have also become REALLY anti-social, so much to the point where if there are people around me or talking to me, I just want them to go away and leave me alone. I have been slowly isolating myself from the rest of the world. I dont know why, but I feel like I have to keep everyone at a distance and yet I still want them to be close. I get really nervous and insecure when trying to be "me", because the person I'm acting like is not me. The person I'm being is like me if I was stranded in a desert for months without food and water driven to insanity by dehydration. This is not at all like me. This is not me...it's like the wierd shadow in Peter Pan, now all I have to do is find a way to tame my shadow (as Peter would say). |
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| Glaucoma |
[Feb. 21st, 2007|09:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
My dad, for the first time in his stubern,53 year old,life time, went to the eye doctor on his own. Truth be known that my father HATES going to the doctors for himself, he HATES doing anything that focuses the attention on him. My dad is very humble and odd in his own ways (something that becomes obvious after being areound him for only a short period of time).
Well today my dad found out he had a very advanced case of Glaucoma.
Glaucoma, the second-leading cause of adult blindness in the United States after age-related macular degeneration, often results from intraocular pressure (fluid pressure within the eye, or IOP) that is too high for the optic nerve to tolerate. About 2.2 million Americans age 40 and over have glaucoma, and, because the condition does not cause symptoms in its early stages, half of them do not know it. Another 5 million to 10 million people are at increased risk for the disorder.
Surgery is no longer an option for my dad because of his particularily severe case. My dad has never been able to see very well and hasn't driven at night in over 10 years. From now on I will be driving him around a lot more, and he has special eye drop medication, special sunglasses, and though we are not in California, I plan to get him some pot. (Merry-wanna helps releave pressure from the optical nerve).
I've always wondered how one would cope with knowing that they were going blind...I suppose now I'll know. |
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| Control Freak |
[Feb. 19th, 2007|10:59 pm] |
You lose control when you hold on too tight
but turn your head long enough to let it bite
Cause faith left me staring at the ceiling through the night
it's freaking me out
And when I fell asleep it plagued my dreams,
and 30 bits of glass had become my teeth
They were breaking each and every time I tried to speak
it's freaking me out...
You're freaking me out...you're freaking me out
and I could run like a coward for the door
But I'll never get out...you're freaking me out
You lose your mind if you lose control
it makes you feel ashamed for the hearts you stole
And now your own hearts scared of an attack cause you can't give them back
You're stressing me out when you prove me wrong you're wearing me out cause I've searched so long
Thrown it all away, I threw it all and I threw it all away, but the best part is not knowing just what i threw away, i threw it all away
You're freaking me out
but I keep running right back around for more
cause I'm in love with my doubt...it's freaking me out |
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| Cautioners |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|09:54 pm] |
Cautioners: they take their steps with hesitance, they chase and chase just to turn back and walk home. I don't understand, and then i do...all too well.
I saw "Children of Men". It made me sad. I hate movies about the future, i dont buy into that matrix crap.(thank you "1984").It interests me but I dont believe everything i hear.
Stephen unofficially refers to me as a closed book. I will admit now, if i haven't already, that i have relationship problems. I cant grip it.
Then again, in my mind, i wish people were robots. ;)
I may be going to this thing over spring break with ally- its a rally concerning the death penalty going on in Austin. You stay at the UT campus for a week, and its the same week as sxsw so i might go, im not sure. Austin is a great city but im not sure about all that. i hear there are creepy "non-UT subjects" who roam at night :0
"if i was a king, if i had everything, piece by piece- if i had you then i would give you the world, if i was giant sized on top of it all, then what in the world would i go on for? Oh, If i was a king, if i had EVERYTHING... you know i'd fuck it up." |
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| The hospital is no place for a... |
[Jan. 26th, 2007|09:36 am] |
Wednesday was by far one of the worst days i have ever had.
I have been sick since 3 days before christmas. I have had a few "good days" in between all of the hours in bed. My grades are slipping because of my absences. I have been in and out of doctor's appoinments. My family trip to austin, where i was out of bed for more hours than ever since ive been sick, didnt have a very good after effect. This tuesday, after we returned, my dad took me to a new doctor. His name was dr. Gibbs. This doctor was the wierdest doctor i had ever met. He was creepy and his office made my dad and i very on-edge. Everything there seemed un-official; the ladies in the office dressed in nurse scrubbs weren't even registered real nurses, they messured me by drawing a line on a door, and the doctor had never taken blood before. It was so strange. First he was very nice and talked to my dad and I, then he told my dad to go out of the room to ask the usual sex questions, then he stayed in there, alone in the room with me for 30 minutes. Finally, my dad came in and mentioned that he was not comfortable with their being a creepy male doctor alone in the room with his 17 yr old daughter. I was wierded out when the doctor got really in-depth about the sex questions and a female nurse never came into the room. Nothing happened but it wass not normal. Then, after "Dr. Gibbs" (who my fathere and i believe to be some actor) examined all of my previous symptoms and what not, he concluded that he should do more tests and send them into a lab in some other state.
So, he tried to take my blood and admitted that he had never done it before. Now, i have given blood before at blood drives and all sorts of doctor's offices so my dad and i kept saying that he was not going about it the right way. He had to do it 3 times on each arm and still didnt get any blood. I was pissed off and crying out of control at this point. He did not know what he was doing.
After all of this, it was concluded that whatever i had, it was serious or had become serious because of the heart condition i already have. As soon as we left that doctor's office (if i could, i would have ran to the car) i didnt want anyone to get near me. I was so pissed and hurt that all i could think about was getting home to my bed or dying was even looking good. I was already in misery because of being sick and now these tests were driving out all of the stregth i had left. I remember thinging how odd it was for me to be in this state. I was trying to find comfort in anything, my fuzzy warm pjs couldnt even do the trick, i was completely losing hope. I had been sick for so long and this doctor was not going to help me either.
A little later that day I was rushed to the hospital and when the first nurse saw my arms where the doctor had tried to take blood she just gave me this look and said "What happened to you?" I had almost run out of tears by then so I didnt say or do anything but cry. I had never cried this much in a day, or even a week.
I stayed at the hospital from 4pm-10pm. I was exsausted and the saddest little thing you had ever seen. I lived off of yogert that day. With a total of 6 1/2 holes in my arm and after being hooked up to different machines and tubes, i concluded this was one of the worst days of my life. They finished all of the tests and I will be in and out of the doctor's office again once they get the test results. As for now, I am just waiting and trying so hard to be normal.
You never think you'd miss being "normal" until you have had one of those days where you keep asking yourself "Why is this happening to me?". and I deffinitly am looking forward to getting better, no matter how long or whatever it takes. |
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usurflikeagirl's journal